Керченский паром в никуда

Вот и подошел к концу второй срок пребывания на Украине. Выезжать-въезжать решили опять через Керченский паром, и на обратном пути проехать по всему Южному берегу Крыма, посмотреть на Феодосию, Судак и Алушту.


Я уточнила в интернете расписание паромов, ходят каждые 2 часа, и так как мы решили ехать с ночевкой в Керчи, спокойно выспались и выехали в 12 часов дня. Проехали по короткой дороге через Симферополь, за 4,5 часа успешно добрались до Керчи, купили билет на паром и пошли посидеть в машине.

Вот тут-то приключения и начались. Официально билеты на паром перестают продавать за 30 минут до отправления, наш паром отправлялся в 16.30. Без пяти четыре мы подошли к двери на таможню, но суровый дяденька отправил нас в зал ожидания. Так как в зале ожидания холодно и железные кресла, конечно же, мы отправились в машину. Через 15 минут спокойно подходим к той же двери – но она закрыта. Стучались, пинались – нет ответа. Минут через 5 дверь открыла суровая девушка в военной форме с рацией и спросила, куда мы так ломимся. Ответ я придумала заранее – что была в туалете, все-таки это более уважительная причина для опоздания, чем сидение в машине 🙂

После долгих переговоров по рации нас провели к таможенникам, отобрали миграционные листы и сотрудник таможни спросил: «Вы когда назад?», мы начали мяться, но он уже таких как мы немало повидал, сказал: «Говорите честно».

Ну, честно, так честно – сегодня. Это его вовсе не смутило, наоборот, он посоветовал бежать в первых рядах на Российскую таможню, чтобы успеть на последний паром обратно.

Да, несмотря на расписание в интернете, что паромы ходят каждые 2 часа, а ночью пореже, оказалось, что в Россию идут всего 4 парома в сутки, а назад и того меньше – 3.

Время 16.30, на причале еще вереница машин, у которых проверяют документы.
16.45, начинаем дергаться, паром назад в 18.00, но попасть в кассы надо до 17.30.
17.00, машин уже давно нет, мотор парома заведен, но никто никуда не едет. Дергаемся уже больше – наша машина оставлена посреди площади у таможни и в самом неудачном месте, около проезда.
17.05, наконец-то поехали, шанс успеть в кассы есть.
17.20, почему-то остановились посреди пролива, стоим. Скорее всего, из-за льдов, перекрывающих проход к Российскому берегу.

На пароме стоим у выхода, ничего не видно за подъемным металлическим трапом. Желающих выйти первыми уйма. Как оказалось, таких как мы возвращенцев еще 3 человека.

Очередь на выход:

Я несколько раз залезала на металлический трап, чтобы выглянуть – где мы и едем ли. Выглянула – и ничегошеньки не поняла, где мы, что мы? Понятно одно, не едем.

17.30, кассы, по идее, уже закрылись. Я морально готова ночевать в России. Все еще стоим посередине пролива.

Ладно, морально-то я готова, но где мы окажемся? Куда приедем? На айфоне и айпаде «предусмотрительно» установлены отличные карты Украины. А Российских – нет, зачем нам Россия, мы теперь крымчане 🙂

17.35 Наконец-то, куда-то поплыли.
17.45 На старт, внимание, марш! Трап до конца не опустился, но мы прыгаем на землю под ругань работников парома, и несемся к таможне, быстро первыми проходим погранконтроль, забегаем в кассы.

Выглядит это примерно так, только в темноте:

Кассы, конечно, уже 15 минут как закрыты. Ломимся впятером в кассы, стекла дрожат.
Кассирша обламывает всех, утверждая, что списки пассажиров уже переданы на Украинскую сторону и продать нам билет после этого невозможно.

Еще 15 минут мы метались, упрашивали всех подряд пропустить нас на паром. Другая девушка с парома сильно расстроилась, у нее дома остался ребенок и она рассчитывала сегодня же вернуться. Она начала было звонить своей маме, которая сидит с ребенком, чтобы предупредить, но тут на телефоне заканчиваются деньги. А чего вы хотели – международный роуминг, 12 грн за минуту (около 45 рублей).

И вот, мы стоим на холоде, черт знает где, где-то в России, и паром домой уходит. А мы остаемся…

Продолжение: Как мы на родине заблудились

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56 комментариев

  1. Ольга:

    Аленушка, скажите, пожалуйта, вы так же продолжаете выезжать каждые 3 месяца через Керчь? Прочитала в интернете, что обратно могут и не пустить, запретить въезд на 180 суток, вымогать деньги и прочих ужасов. А мне скоро, как и вам, надо выехат, чтобы тут же вернуться, вот и затрусила я что-то…

    • Аленушка:

      Да, я так и выезжаю, и буду выезжать. У меня нет оснований для выдачи Вида на жительство, разве что замуж выйти фиктивно за украинца… Насчет 90 из 180 дней совершенно не волнуйтесь! Это не распространяется на россиян (если вы россиянка). Мы уже 2й год пересекаем границу на несколько минут, сотрудники таможни с обеих сторон это видят, никаких препятствий нет, наоборот, пропускали быстрее, так как мы без сумок, нас не надо досматривать. Таких как мы — сотни, никаких проблем нет, кроме потраченного времени.

  2. Ольга:

    Спасибо, успокоили)

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